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Casti Connubii – Defending Catholic Matrimony from Attack – Part 3

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Pope Pius XI now turns his attention to the second blessing of marriage which is conjugal faith.

The unique relationship between the spouses in the marriage bond and the demands that this bond places on each of them, is one of the reasons why free consent is a requirement for a valid marriage. Each spouse gives themselves to the other. They are no longer free to live their lives as they did when they were single, but must conform their lives to God’s rules for the new union created by the marital bond. They are no longer to live as two but as one.

Marriage is an exclusive covenantal bond between one man and one woman that permits of no other. The husband and wife must have eyes for each other alone. But Pope Pius XI reminds us that this is not all.

The intimate physical relations between husband and wife must be ordered to the law of God and must be preserved from inordinate lustful desires. Marriage does not cure man’s sinful nature and therefore the husband and wife must guard against over-sensuality in their relationship. Marriage is ordered primarily towards children and the secondary ends of marriage are there to ensure the best environment for rearing any children.

Le Mariage – Giulio Rosati (1858 – 1917)

Marriage, being a sacramental channel of sanctifying grace, has the supernatural purpose of helping the members of the family to become holy. They do this by following the teachings of the Catholic Church with regard to family life, and by laying down their lives for each other for the glory and honour of God.

Pope Pius XI develops an important understanding in this last paragraph. Modern Catholics are often confused when they are told that the primary end of marriage is children. Some respond to this by saying that, “marriage isn’t only about children”. They are right of course and that is not what the Catholic Church means when she declares that the primary end of marriage is children. Man’s ultimate end, regardless of his state in life, is to attain Heaven by living a holy life. This ultimate end of man does not conflict with the primary end of marriage, rather, it supersedes and guides the spouses in their married life. We are all called to a life of holiness. The spouses are called, through the marriage bond, to give to each other the helps necessary to fulfil their marital duties in rearing children for God’s Heavenly Kingdom.

Man’s nature is fallen and he is beset by concupiscence. In the area of human sexuality man must guard against lust even within marriage. One of the secondary ends of marriage is that it is a remedy for concupiscence and St Paul speaks of this in his first letter to the Corinthians where he sees marriage as a means for averting temptations to sexual immorality. St Paul is aware of the strength of sexual temptations and of the difficulty that many have trying to control their sexual urges. St Paul tells spouses that their bodies are no longer their own after marriage.

“For the wife does not rule over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not rule over his own body, but the wife does.” (1 Corinthians 7:4)

Marriage involves a mutual self-giving of persons. The spouses are no longer independent of each other but must operate as a unit. St Paul tells the spouses to be generous in their physical love for one another, abstaining at times, by mutual consent, to devote more time to prayer. The spouses must be aware of the danger that Satan can tempt them through lack of self control. Physical marital relations must be governed by true love, that is by justice and charity. Each spouse must be aware of the needs of the other and accommodate those needs in a truly loving way.

Modern societies, having abandoned God, have lost their knowledge of the true order of the world which is designed by God for His greater honour and glory. The above teaching is largely misunderstood in our modern world and is seen as being misogynistic. It can only be understood with reference to the fact that God designed man and woman for a specific purpose and it is God Who established the order of the headship of the man over his wife. This is not the same as the relationship between master and slave, although some men may try to treat it as such, but it is the same as the relationship between Christ and His Catholic Church.

Christ instructs the apostles on how they are to exercise their authority by pointing out the misuse of authority amongst the Gentiles of His day.

“You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you; but whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave; even as the Son of man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:25-28)

Christ Himself gave us the example to be followed when He washed the feet of His disciples before the Last Supper.

Christ washes St Peter’s Feet – Dirck van Baburen (1595 – 1624)

“Know you what I have done to you? You call me Master, and Lord; and you say well, for so I am. If then I being your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; you also ought to wash one another’s feet.

For I have given you an example, that as I have done to you, so you do also. Amen, amen I say to you: The servant is not greater than his lord; neither is the apostle greater than he that sent him. If you know these things, you shall be blessed if you do them.” (John 13:12-17)

Husbands are called to exercise their authority in the family in a similar way. They are not to lord their authority over their families but are called to serve the needs of the family laying down their lives for the good of the family. Pope Pius XI goes on to show that the woman does not lose her liberty or her free will, but is called, like her husband, to put them at the service of the family.

The husband and wife have different but complimentary duties towards each other and towards their children. Pope Pius XI also points out that where a husband is failing in his familial duties, the wife may be called on to exercise a greater authority for the good of the family. But this does not take away from the order established by God, rather, in this case, it is a burdensome, extra duty, placed upon the wife on account of a sinful failure, in this case, that of the husband.

St Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 12:18-21 can be applied to the different roles of husband and wife. He speaks of the many different charisms in the Catholic Church and compares it to the body.

“But now God has set the members every one of them in the body as it has pleased him. And if they all were one member, where would be the body? But now there are many members indeed, yet one body. And the eye cannot say to the hand: I need not thy help; nor again the head to the feet: I have no need of you.” (1 Corinthians 12:18-21)

Our modern culture exalts a false independence, especially within marriage, and particularly to wives. This is to the detriment of the family unit. The roles of husband and wife are not interchangeable. These roles are designed by God to work together for His greater honour and glory and for the good of the family. Where these roles become subverted, it allows outside influences to have sway over the children and to corrupt their understanding of marriage and of human sexuality. We see this very thing happening before our eyes right now.

To be cont’d…

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