This article is available for download. You can download it and print it for private use and for private sharing but it cannot be reproduced in any other publication. To download a print copy click here – Casti Connubii – Part 3
Pope Pius XI now turns his attention to the second blessing of marriage which is conjugal faith.
“The second blessing of matrimony which We said was mentioned by St. Augustine, is the blessing of conjugal honour which consists in the mutual fidelity of the spouses in fulfilling the marriage contract, so that what belongs to one of the parties by reason of this contract sanctioned by divine law, may not be denied to him or permitted to any third person; nor may there be conceded to one of the parties anything which, being contrary to the rights and laws of God and entirely opposed to matrimonial faith, can never be conceded.” (Casti Connubii 19)
“Wherefore, conjugal faith, or honour, demands in the first place the complete unity of matrimony which the Creator Himself laid down in the beginning when He wished it to be not otherwise than between one man and one woman. And although afterwards this primeval law was relaxed to some extent by God, the Supreme Legislator, there is no doubt that the law of the Gospel fully restored that original and perfect unity, and abrogated all dispensations as the words of Christ and the constant teaching and action of the Church show plainly. With reason, therefore, does the Sacred Council of Trent solemnly declare: “Christ Our Lord very clearly taught that in this bond two persons only are to be united and joined together when He said: ‘Therefore they are no longer two, but one flesh’.” (Council of Trent, Session 24, 11th November, 1563) (Casti Connubii 20)

The unique relationship between the spouses in the marriage bond and the demands that this bond places on each of them, is one of the reasons why free consent is a requirement for a valid marriage. Each spouse gives themselves to the other. They are no longer free to live their lives as they did when they were single, but must conform their lives to God’s rules for the new union created by the marital bond. They are no longer to live as two but as one.
“Nor did Christ Our Lord wish only to condemn any form of polygamy or polyandry, as they are called, whether successive or simultaneous, and every other external dishonourable act, but, in order that the sacred bonds of marriage may be guarded absolutely inviolate, He forbade also even wilful thoughts and desires of such like things: “But I say to you, that whosoever shall look on a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (Matthew 5:25) Which words of Christ Our Lord cannot be annulled even by the consent of one of the partners of marriage for they express a law of God and of nature which no will of man can break or bend.” (Casti Connubii 21)
Marriage is an exclusive covenantal bond between one man and one woman that permits of no other. The husband and wife must have eyes for each other alone. But Pope Pius XI reminds us that this is not all.
“Nay, that mutual familiar intercourse between the spouses themselves, if the blessing of conjugal faith is to shine with becoming splendour, must be distinguished by chastity so that husband and wife bear themselves in all things with the law of God and of nature, and endeavour always to follow the will of their most wise and holy Creator with the greatest reverence toward the work of God.” (Casti Connubii 22)
The intimate physical relations between husband and wife must be ordered to the law of God and must be preserved from inordinate lustful desires. Marriage does not cure man’s sinful nature and therefore the husband and wife must guard against over-sensuality in their relationship. Marriage is ordered primarily towards children and the secondary ends of marriage are there to ensure the best environment for rearing any children.
“This conjugal faith, however, which is most aptly called by St. Augustine the “faith of chastity” blooms more freely, more beautifully and more nobly, when it is rooted in that more excellent soil, the love of husband and wife which pervades all the duties of married life and holds pride of place in Christian marriage. For matrimonial faith demands that husband and wife be joined in an especially holy and pure love, not as adulterers love each other, but as Christ loved the Church. This precept the Apostle laid down when he said: “Husbands, love your wives as Christ also loved the Church,” (Ephesians 5:25) that Church which of a truth He embraced with a boundless love not for the sake of His own advantage, but seeking only the good of His Spouse.
The love, then, of which We are speaking is not that based on the passing lust of the moment nor does it consist in pleasing words only, but in the deep attachment of the heart which is expressed in action, since love is proved by deeds. This outward expression of love in the home demands not only mutual help but must go further; must have as its primary purpose that man and wife help each other day by day in forming and perfecting themselves in the interior life, so that through their partnership in life they may advance ever more and more in virtue, and above all that they may grow in true love toward God and their neighbour, on which indeed “depends the whole Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 22:40) For all men of every condition, in whatever honourable walk of life they may be, can and ought to imitate that most perfect example of holiness placed before man by God, namely Christ Our Lord, and by God’s grace to arrive at the summit of perfection, as is proved by the example set us of many saints.” (Casti Connubii 23)

Marriage, being a sacramental channel of sanctifying grace, has the supernatural purpose of helping the members of the family to become holy. They do this by following the teachings of the Catholic Church with regard to family life, and by laying down their lives for each other for the glory and honour of God.
“This mutual moulding of husband and wife, this determined effort to perfect each other, can in a very real sense, as the Roman Catechism teaches, be said to be the chief reason and purpose of matrimony, provided matrimony be looked at not in the restricted sense as instituted for the proper conception and education of the child, but more widely as the blending of life as a whole and the mutual interchange and sharing thereof.” (Casti Connubii 24)
Pope Pius XI develops an important understanding in this last paragraph. Modern Catholics are often confused when they are told that the primary end of marriage is children. Some respond to this by saying that, “marriage isn’t only about children”. They are right of course and that is not what the Catholic Church means when she declares that the primary end of marriage is children. Man’s ultimate end, regardless of his state in life, is to attain Heaven by living a holy life. This ultimate end of man does not conflict with the primary end of marriage, rather, it supersedes and guides the spouses in their married life. We are all called to a life of holiness. The spouses are called, through the marriage bond, to give to each other the helps necessary to fulfil their marital duties in rearing children for God’s Heavenly Kingdom.
“By this same love it is necessary that all the other rights and duties of the marriage state be regulated as the words of the Apostle: “Let the husband render the debt to the wife, and the wife also in like manner to the husband,” (1 Corinthians 7:3) express not only a law of justice but of charity.” (Casti Connubii 25)
Man’s nature is fallen and he is beset by concupiscence. In the area of human sexuality man must guard against lust even within marriage. One of the secondary ends of marriage is that it is a remedy for concupiscence and St Paul speaks of this in his first letter to the Corinthians where he sees marriage as a means for averting temptations to sexual immorality. St Paul is aware of the strength of sexual temptations and of the difficulty that many have trying to control their sexual urges. St Paul tells spouses that their bodies are no longer their own after marriage.
“For the wife does not rule over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not rule over his own body, but the wife does.” (1 Corinthians 7:4)
Marriage involves a mutual self-giving of persons. The spouses are no longer independent of each other but must operate as a unit. St Paul tells the spouses to be generous in their physical love for one another, abstaining at times, by mutual consent, to devote more time to prayer. The spouses must be aware of the danger that Satan can tempt them through lack of self control. Physical marital relations must be governed by true love, that is by justice and charity. Each spouse must be aware of the needs of the other and accommodate those needs in a truly loving way.
“Domestic society being confirmed, therefore, by this bond of love, there should flourish in it that “order of love,” as St. Augustine calls it. This order includes both the primacy of the husband with regard to the wife and children, the ready subjection of the wife and her willing obedience, which the Apostle commends in these words: “Let women be subject to their husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife, and Christ is the head of the Church.”” (Ephesians 5:22-23) (Casti Connubii 26)
Modern societies, having abandoned God, have lost their knowledge of the true order of the world which is designed by God for His greater honour and glory. The above teaching is largely misunderstood in our modern world and is seen as being misogynistic. It can only be understood with reference to the fact that God designed man and woman for a specific purpose and it is God Who established the order of the headship of the man over his wife. This is not the same as the relationship between master and slave, although some men may try to treat it as such, but it is the same as the relationship between Christ and His Catholic Church.
Christ instructs the apostles on how they are to exercise their authority by pointing out the misuse of authority amongst the Gentiles of His day.
“You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you; but whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave; even as the Son of man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:25-28)
Christ Himself gave us the example to be followed when He washed the feet of His disciples before the Last Supper.

“Know you what I have done to you? You call me Master, and Lord; and you say well, for so I am. If then I being your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; you also ought to wash one another’s feet.
For I have given you an example, that as I have done to you, so you do also. Amen, amen I say to you: The servant is not greater than his lord; neither is the apostle greater than he that sent him. If you know these things, you shall be blessed if you do them.” (John 13:12-17)
Husbands are called to exercise their authority in the family in a similar way. They are not to lord their authority over their families but are called to serve the needs of the family laying down their lives for the good of the family. Pope Pius XI goes on to show that the woman does not lose her liberty or her free will, but is called, like her husband, to put them at the service of the family.
“This subjection, however, does not deny or take away the liberty which fully belongs to the woman both in view of her dignity as a human person, and in view of her most noble office as wife and mother and companion; nor does it bid her obey her husband’s every request if not in harmony with right reason or with the dignity due to a wife; nor, in fine, does it imply that the wife should be put on a level with those persons who in law are called minors, to whom it is not customary to allow free exercise of their rights on account of their lack of mature judgment, or of their ignorance of human affairs. But it forbids that exaggerated liberty which cares not for the good of the family; it forbids that in this body which is the family, the heart be separated from the head to the great detriment of the whole body and the proximate danger of ruin. For if the man is the head, the woman is the heart, and as he occupies the chief place in ruling, so she may and ought to claim for herself the chief place in love.” (Casti Connubii 27)
The husband and wife have different but complimentary duties towards each other and towards their children. Pope Pius XI also points out that where a husband is failing in his familial duties, the wife may be called on to exercise a greater authority for the good of the family. But this does not take away from the order established by God, rather, in this case, it is a burdensome, extra duty, placed upon the wife on account of a sinful failure, in this case, that of the husband.
St Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 12:18-21 can be applied to the different roles of husband and wife. He speaks of the many different charisms in the Catholic Church and compares it to the body.
“But now God has set the members every one of them in the body as it has pleased him. And if they all were one member, where would be the body? But now there are many members indeed, yet one body. And the eye cannot say to the hand: I need not thy help; nor again the head to the feet: I have no need of you.” (1 Corinthians 12:18-21)
Our modern culture exalts a false independence, especially within marriage, and particularly to wives. This is to the detriment of the family unit. The roles of husband and wife are not interchangeable. These roles are designed by God to work together for His greater honour and glory and for the good of the family. Where these roles become subverted, it allows outside influences to have sway over the children and to corrupt their understanding of marriage and of human sexuality. We see this very thing happening before our eyes right now.
To be cont’d…
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